


Bravery isn't about not being scared

by drwhogirl



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 06:55:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2300537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drwhogirl/pseuds/drwhogirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of the Doctor on the some of the most important days of his young life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bravery isn't about not being scared

I didn’t think anyone could find me in the stable. No-one was meant to be able to find me in the stable. But there she was, all big green eyes and curly red hair. “Are you ok?” She asked, as she sat down on the edge of my bed.  
I just nodded, wanting more than anything to be left alone, yet at the same time not wanting to be alone in the dark.   
“You’re not. What’s wrong? Are you scared of the dark?” I nodded. “Did you have a bad dream?” Another nod. “Tell me about it.” She sat on the end of my bed and I told her. Told her about the dream where I woke up alone and afraid. Where I got out of bed and something grabbed my ankle. Where a woman told me about how it was ok to be afraid. The girl just sat and listened, she was always such a good listener. “She’s right you know.” She whispered when I’d finally finished talking.  
“Really?” I asked, still unsure.  
“Really. Everyone gets scared sometimes. Being brave isn’t about not being scared. It’s about carrying on regardless.” I’d never thought about it like that before. “So what is it you’re really scared of?”  
“Not getting into the Academy.” I whispered. It sounded stupid really, and I expected her to say so, after all not everyone did get into the academy and a small orphaned boy who cried a lot and got easily scared really stood no chance.  
“I think you will. Why wouldn’t you?”   
“Because I don’t have any parents and everyone thinks I’m useless.”  
“I don’t think you’re useless. You’re the most important boy in the universe. Come on, how’s this? We can go back inside and I’ll help you to study for the exams.”  
“Really?” I knew surprise must have been written all over my face. “You’d do that? For me?”  
“Of course I would. Come on.” She gently took my hand and led me back inside. “I’m Lily by the way.” She said with a smile as we entered the children’s home, hand in hand. Her smile only grew bigger as I introduced myself.  
*******  
“I did it! I got in!” I shouted excitedly as I ran into the breakfast room one morning, acceptance letter in hand.  
“That’s great!” Lily jumped up from her chair and hugged me excitedly.  
I hugged her back just as eagerly. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”  
“And don’t you forget it.” She teased gently tapping me on the nose and earning herself a laugh.  
Suddenly the penny dropped, with a horrifying clang. “But, that means I have to leave for initiation tonight… then I’ll have to board at the academy… what will I do without you?”   
“You’ll be fine.” She told me with a reassuring smile. “I believe in you, even if you don’t.”  
“But what if I can’t find you again when I graduate?”  
“Then you’ll just have to come and look for me won’t you.”  
*******  
I did look for her, it was about a year after I graduated before I eventually found her again. A full 11 years after we parted ways at the children’s home. To say she looked beautiful was honestly an understatement. Her long red hair was pulled into a loose plait and she wore a beautiful green dress that made her eyes stand out even more than usual. She was working at the home where we’d both grown up.  
“Hey, Lily.” I greeted her with a smile.  
“Hey!” She ran over and hugged me, almost sending me to the floor in her excitement. My hearts skipped a beat as she placed a kiss on my cheek. “I missed you.” She whispered as she held me tighter.  
“I missed you too.” I whispered back. I really had, every single night I hadn’t got to see her the nightmares came. My parents, something waiting to get me in the dark, but in Lily’s arms it felt ok. I felt like nothing could touch us. “I don’t ever want to be away from you again.” I told her honestly.  
She paused for the briefest of moments for saying. “Then don’t be.”  
“What?” I asked, not quite sure where she was going to go with this.   
“Stay. I know it’s not going to be like you’d imagined. You probably wanted to get away from this place but…” She shrugged.  
“Ok.”   
“What?”  
“I’ll stay. With you… until… you know…” On Galiffrey each child had to get married. If a boy hadn’t picked a suitable wife by the age of 20 then he had one chosen for him. I knew the girls that were chosen were always cruel and abusive. That’s what my mother had been like when she was alive. That’s when I noticed the mischievous glint in Lily’s eyes. “What?”  
“What about we get married?”  
“What!?”  
“That way we’ll get to stay together.”  
“What…”  
“Is that all you can say in response to my brilliant suggestion?” She pouted.  
“No.” I stated defensively. “And you’re right, it is a brilliant suggestion.”  
“So?” She prompted with a smile.  
“So what?” She rolled her eyes playfully. “Oh, oh right.” I got down on one knee and took her left hand in both of mine. “Lily, will you marry me?”   
“Of course I will you idiot.” She laughed, gently pulling me to my feet and placing a soft kiss on my lips.   
*******  
I was out when it happened, taking my TARDIS flying test again. I got home and found Lily sat on a rocking chair in the corner, surrounded by the children currently living in the home, with a bundle of blankets in her arms. “Hey.” She whispered, so as not to wake the sleeping baby in her arms. “Do you want to say hello to your new son?” All I could do was nod, completely dumbfounded, as she gently passed me the child.  
“He’s beautiful.” I whispered, cuddling the small child. I knew then I wanted to protect him with my life and I never wanted to miss a moment of his. “What’s his name?”  
“Jacob. It’s a human name.” She explained, gently stroking the child’s head with her thumb.  
*******  
“Mum, Dad.” Jacob called as he walked into the home. “I’ve got someone I want you to meet.” By the time I got to the hallway Lily was already cooing over the little girl in Jacob’s arms. Our granddaughter burbled happily back.  
He told us about how they’d decided to call her Susan and how he wanted her to learn all about humans the same way he did. He looked straight at me and said. “I want her to go to a human school. Like I did. But she won’t be able to go alone.”  
“We could both take her.” Lily jumped in, before I had a chance.  
“We both know we can’t, someone needs to stay and look after the children here.” I explained gently. “I’ll do it. Shouldn’t be too hard.”  
It was a decision I came to regret. Taking Susan to earth to attend Coal Hill Secondary School meant I never saw my wife, my Lily, again. When I was finally able to return to where the home had stood, the time war was raging and there was nothing left. Only the barn, where we met. The home and my whole family were gone.   
I tried not to think about them, I tried to forget. I buried them in mischief and mayhem. Tried to hide the pain behind a clownish exterior, but nothing worked. Even Rose could never have really replaced my Lily, my first true love.


End file.
